A New Chapter

This weekend was certainly an eye opener for me. I graduated college in May, but I think mentally I finally graduated and started a new chapter in my life over this past weekend. Sure, I went through the ritualistic parties and celebrations a few months ago, even went on a celebratory road trip, but it didn’t really set in until I finally let go of all things “college.”

I have been working at Ruth’s Chris Steak House since I graduated from high school in 2005. It helped me pay all of my “bills” in college—ie. Going to the bars and buying cute new outfits, and maybe the occasional BGE or Car Insurance payment. Well this weekend, I worked my last day at Ruth’s Chris, my security blanket job that I finally let go. It was a bitter sweet experience, I hated working there, but somehow it was comforting to know I had a backup plan. On a whim a few weeks ago, I gave my notice. Maybe I should have done it a while ago, anyone who knows me knows how much that place needed to go, but still it was easy, so I stayed.

As I said goodbye to my best friend, who is now in Denmark for Grad School, I also “worked” my last day in the restaurant industry. When I say worked, I mean I showed up and the schedule was messed up so subsequently I spent $9.00 in tolls and parking fees to turn around and go home, typical.

So now I find myself away from everything I associated with college. My best friend has moved onto bigger things, I let go of my job that was always my safety net, I moved away from Towson, and my boyfriend is coming home! Since Matt and I started dating he has been living in LA, and now he will be in MD with me, so that- combined with the rest of my epiphany that I am no longer a child- has really made me realize I am in the real world. It’s so strange to hear people talk about going back to school next week. I have caught myself, on several occasions, about to jump into a conversation that is now a mute point in my life.

I’m waiting to start missing college, but for now, I’m happy with how things are going, and hopefully all these new things will start to become routine.

Shortcomings in Stress Management

Handling stress is not one of my best qualities. Somehow I manage to bury my growing frustrations until I explode, which was the case this past weekend. It would seem that my life is not really all that stressful. I have a job (2 for that matter), and even though I’m not rolling in dough, I make enough to get by. I have a fantastic boyfriend, who is my emotional backbone, most of the time. I have a supportive family, and although they drive me slightly nuts, they are a group of genuinely nice people, who are always looking out for me. And I have a great group of friends, who are generally reliable and fun to be around. Now maybe I’m just over sensitive, but it’s the day to day things that make me slightly neurotic.

I’ll back track to this past weekend. I have a building irritation about living down town. Perhaps city living, even in the brief stint I have experienced it, is just not for me. I feel like me living in the city, is like trying to make an elephant live in a tree, it just won’t work, period. This weekend started out a bit rough. It took me 45 minutes to drive from Ruth’s Chris Steak House to my house in Fed Hill, approximately 1.5 miles. I should have walked, but that’s neither here nor there. I have decided that “Operation Orange Cone” as well as the hundreds of pointless traffic cops, are the reason for the cities gridlock. I mean really, construction is a positive thing, but DON’T re-construct all of Baltimore at the same time! I’m not sure if there are other people with frustrations for the traffic cops, but personally they make me want to swerve on purpose just to scare them. I’m fairly certain they aren’t police, so how can they write tickets?! Furthermore, they stand in the middle of busy intersections, telling me when I can go. Excuse me, I can see my car won’t fit, and I don’t need you to tell me I can’t merge, get out of the way, I’m doing it anyhow. Not to mention they all wear those blue tooth cell phone headsets, which in and of itself drives me up a wall!

So, after my 45 minute trek from work, I had an enjoyable night out on the town at an Orioles Game. The evening started well, but went drastically downhill when I was forced to call the police on a couple of coked up, belligerently drunk, obnoxiously trashy women. Not only did they scream at pedestrians, the one woman went as far as to punch a guy who was walking out of the new corner bar. (Irritations about the new bar to come, don’t worry!) So finally Tasha and I decided enough was enough and called the cops. Not a minute after that, the women got in the car and drove, or should I say swerved away…at which point we reported a drunk driver. Who knew, within the Federal Hill community, was a hidden group of drug addicted trailer trash?

The following morning really iced the cake for me. Baltimore City cops are failing to arrest drug dealers, but somehow have time to ticket me for an expired license plate. OK, if the plates had been expired for more than say, 10 HOURS, I might be able to understand. But no, they expired at mid-night, and by 11 a.m. I had a ticket. At this point, I was unable to deal with the stressors of living in the city, so I went to my mom’s house. (My destination for the day anyhow, to get the replacement for my now expired license plate sticker) Unfortunately I had a mild breakdown. I spent the remainder of the weekend, alone, brooding about my frustrations for the city. Not exactly the best way to handle stress.

I decided, after my weekend of pouting, I was going to take steps to make my stress more manageable. I decided to keep a journal, write more on my blog, and exercise. Playing tennis helps, but more than once every two weeks is probably needed. Great, I have a game plan! So with my fresh thoughts in mind, I headed home from work last night ready to take a relaxing shower, get a good night’s rest, and try and learn to love the city, the place I now call home. How about NO! It took me upwards of an hour to find parking last night. I didn’t actually even find it. I illegally parked outside the new bar on the corner. I went in and begged the bar tenders not to have my car towed away. Lucky for me, one was leaving and he said I could take his spot. What a nice thought, however I can’t help but complain about the fact that the employees, as well as customers at the new bar are taking up the parking on my street! It just never ends.

I’m doing my best to be less stressed. Seriously, I have a chronic stress induced rash that has gotten severely worse in the past few months. I really need to get things under control. Perhaps focusing on the little things is the key. Things like, good morning text messages, eating lunch outside, and showers with scented candles… I don’t know, but something has got to give.

Cell Phone Detox Needed

Anyone who knows anything about me knows, I’m addicted to my cell phone. Just to be clear, when I use the word “addicted” I use it in the full sense of the word. Other then plane rides, the last time I can remember having my cell phone off or away from me for more than an hour was in January. For a full week in January, I was cell phone free, and it was glorious. Don’t be deceived however, I did not choose to be without my mobile connection to the world, and I was extremely unhappy to see that I couldn’t even get my phone to keep track of time, as I was on a Caribbean cruise, and apparently towers don’t accurately reach out into the middle of large bodies of water. Cell phone companies should get on that. As I boarded the vessel, I saw that my cell phone was quickly losing bars, I was entering the forbidden and dreaded “dead zone.” Anxiously, I walked around the deck, waving my phone in the air, desperately trying to find a spot where “No Service” would disappear. I was not in luck, and subsequently I was the frustrated moron wandering aimlessly around the boat with a non-working cellular device. At this point, I gave in and powered down the cell phone. Honestly, I should have realized that it was pointless to have the phone, as I was on the cruise with Matt, and the only other people who I have frequent contact with had already been informed that I was going to be out of touch for just over a week. Still, I’m addicted to my constant connection with everyone, and was very stressed that I would miss something hugely critical at home, due to my lack of availability.

My time on the cruise without a phone was very relaxing. The background of my life transformed from “I Believe in Miracles,” “Sister Golden Hair Surprise,” and “Mooo” (the obnoxious cow sound for my text message alerts) to an amazing ocean hum and mariachi band that played on deck. As an addict, it would be logical to assume that my week of cell phone detox would have helped me to move forward and let go of my cell phone obsession. This was not the case. The minute I left the ship, on came the cell phone, and the constant noise and distraction that accompanies it.

In a world where everyone has a cell phone, some basic rules of etiquette should be followed, the operative word in the sentence being “should.” Now I have acknowledged that I spend a ridiculous amount of time on my phone, but this does not mean, I have not figured out when and where cell phones are appropriate.

• Doctor’s Offices: I read a sign that says “Please do not use cell phones for calling or texting while with physician” First of all, in what world is it OK to spend hundreds of dollars per hour on a doctor visit, and at the same time be using a cell phone that is going to take away a significant amount of attention from the visit. While in a doctor’s appointment, what could possibly be more important than listening to the physician?!?! If there is something that pressing that it can’t wait until the 15 minute appointment is over, reschedule. Don’t waste the doctor’s time, its rude.

• Movie Theaters: “Don’t spoil the movie by adding your own soundtrack.” I would like to think that movie theaters implemented this pre-movie slogan so that the pre-teens who recently were allowed cell phone privileges would refrain from texting and calling during the movie. Sadly I don’t think this is the case. As an adult, no one should have to be told that texting and calling people during a movie that I paid $12 to see it NOT OK!! Don’t think I can’t see the light from your phone! The room is dark and your phone has an LCD screen! I can’t lie, I’m guilty of the occasional phone check while I’m in the theater, but I always make it a point to keep the phone deep in my purse, or covered by a sweat-shirt, and I certainly don’t have conversations on my phone while in the theater. So unless it’s an emergency, keep the phone usage in theaters to a minimum, seriously it’s annoying.

• Restaurants: Being in the restaurant industry, this is a personal pet peeve of mine. I can’t stand it when people come up to the hostess stand on a cell phone. I’m not going to start talking until I have full attention. I’m not wasting my time, since I know that I’m going to have to repeat myself anyhow. Also, it doesn’t matter how many people are in the group. Whether it’s two or 10, having dinner out is supposed to be an enjoyable experience between the people at the meal. If someone isn’t there, that’s too bad, don’t be rude to the people who are there by chatting throughout the meal.

• Blue Tooth Ear Devices: The ONLY time I think that these are OK is at work, hands free can be quite practical, or while driving. I’m really not sure why people think that they are so important that they must be physically connected at all times to a phone. Reality check, it looks ridiculous and is totally obnoxious to talk to yourself (which is what it looks like!)
  

Like I said before, I’m addicted to my phone. In this day and age, everyone has a cell phone, and most people would put themselves into a category similar to my addicted state. I mean sure, I keep a phone charger in the car for “emergencies,” I keep it on silent all day to conserve precious battery life, and I sleep with my phone next to my bed, just in case…but hey I’m a work in progress. Maybe my connection with my phone is somehow related to the fact that I hate being alone. Or maybe I just use it as a tool to keep myself from being bored all the time, I don’t know. I do know however, that I need to learn to put it down and leave it more often. It is a constant stressor that can easily be eliminated.

Food for Thought: in the last 14 months, I have spent over 11.5 days talking on my cell phone….